When one of your friends has a baby, it’s a fact of life that the dynamic between you is going to change a bit. Going out clubbing on the weekends for example will probably not be viable for a lot of mothers, at least not while the child is very young, if for no other reason than because having a young baby is so exhausting that there’s just not the spare energy for dancing!
However, although a baby will probably change some things about your friendship, it doesn’t mean that you can’t hang out like you used to, especially if you’re ready for the changes that will come once your friend’s delivered, and you know how to adapt.
Be understanding
With the best will in the world, having children means that plans often need to be changed or cancelled at the last minute. If your friend’s child suddenly comes down with chicken pox, or they didn’t get any sleep last night (so your friend also didn’t get any sleep last night…) plans might need to be updated.
Be bedtime savvy
If you want to have some quality time together, it’s far easier to do that once any children have gone to bed. If bedtime is at seven, arriving at quarter past means that you’ll be able to give each other some undivided friend time.
Be interested
Your friend will almost certainly talk to you about what baby-related things have been going on, and while that might not interest you as much as it interests her, it’s good friend etiquette to take an interest.
Remember who she is in her own right
At the same time, becoming a mother doesn’t change the fact that your friend is her own person, and may well need some time to just be her instead of “X’s mummy”. As her friend you’re the ideal person to help. Talk about all the things you used to talk about, and do what you can to keep doing the things you used to do together. You might not be able to have lots of spa days so easily, but bringing round some face-packs and taking some time to do each other’s nails is a good half-way house!
