Sometimes it can feel like you have a never-ending to-do list. Between the usual tasks, like meal planning and prep, cleaning, laundry, bills, work, and trying to keep your children entertained during summer, it can easily become overwhelming. It’s also easy to forget to add caring for yourself onto your to-do list.
It can feel like everyone is more important than yourself. You prioritise every family member’s needs before your own. It’s important to remember that your own needs are just as important as everyone else’s.
One of the ways that you can learn to balance your needs with your children’s needs is to regularly check-in with yourself. Regular check-ins can make a massive difference, especially as you may notice that you usually put off your own needs in favour of someone else’s.
Check In With Yourself When You’re With Your Children
As you’re looking after your children, ask yourself if there’s anything you need. It could be something small, like perhaps a snack or a cup of tea. It could be that you need to take five deep breaths. No matter what the small thing is, if it helps you to stay balanced try to give it to yourself. Have a moment to take a deep breath, make a cup of tea or to do whatever else you need.
If what you need is bigger than a cup of tea, like perhaps more sleep, come up with a plan to facilitate this. It may be that you need to ask for help, or maybe you need to go to bed earlier for a night or two a week.
Check In With Yourself Throughout The Day
Have you ever noticed that your little ones seem to need your attention when you’re busy doing something else, or when you’re distracted? It’s because they want you to stay present with them in the moment. However, it’s helpful to be present with yourself as well.
Every so often throughout your day try to ground yourself to the moment. Take a deep breath and focus on calming your mind and body for a moment. Use your senses as you breathe. Think about what you can see, hear, and touch.
At the beginning, you will need to remind yourself to do this, but it will eventually become part of your routines and habits.
Before Going Into Your House, Take A Moment
Before you go to collect your child from somewhere, or before you go into your house, stop and take a moment. Ask yourself what you need right at this moment. Think about your answer and come up with a plan as to how you’re going to meet that need. It could be something like needing to take a break, and maybe ordering takeaway instead of cooking that night would help. It could be that you need five minutes with a cup of tea. It could be that you need some alone time, and you can plan for how you’re going to get through bedtime, and what you’re going to do when you have time to yourself.
Slow Down And Be Present
Sometimes you can get so focused on what you have to do next and your everlasting to-do lists that you forget to be present. You can forget to enjoy spending time with your children and take in their natural personalities and joy. But it’s not only your children who need you to be present in the moment with them. It is something that will help you as well. Slowing down, being present, and finding joy in your family can help you avoid the feelings and stresses of burnout.
Be A Parent To Yourself
While you are a parent to your children, and part of that is nurturing them, it’s also your job to nurture yourself. You can start by talking to yourself in a loving way. Banish negative self-talk and reframe your thoughts into positive ones when you notice negativity creeping in.
Remember that you don’t need to be perfect, you can only be yourself and that’s more than enough. Taking care of yourself and making sure that you are happy transforms your parenting and your life. Valuing your happiness and making sure that your own needs are being met can set the tone for the whole household.
